My Doctor
by OhPishTosh
Summary: Picking up soon after the end of season 2, we take a look into the complicated life of Rose and her Doctor duplicate.


It had been 6 months since... well since the Doctor had left her. Even though she still had the Doctor-Donna, it really just wasn't the same. Honestly, it was a bit odd being married to someone who was half the man she loved, but also half a complete stranger. Well, not a complete stranger, there was the whole bug thing and then at the very end just before... she didn't like to think about it. It's not that she didn't love him like this, she did with every ounce of her being. But she knew that she would never be able to have her real Doctor and he'd never be able to have her. It was impossible. The Doctor had called many things "impossible" in the time they travelled together, but only this truly was.  
Every single Sunday morning, she would wake up to find he had bought her a single rose, always a different color. Today it was a rich, deep blue that seemed very familiar to her. She took it in her hand and, very gently, stroked the vibrant petals, remembering every adventure she ever went on with the Doctor. He came up to her bedside, got down on his knees, took her head in his hands, and wiped away a salty tear that had escaped from her left eye. Although he was half human, he still had the ability to read minds like the Doctor did. She actually thoroughly enjoyed this, despite what some people might think if their spouses could ever (hypothetically) read their minds. She loved it because for those few moments his hands held her face, he completely understood her every thought in that particular moment, not because she explained it but because he wanted so badly to know himself what was going on in that pretty little head of hers. He loved her, and she felt it. Over time, she had learned to love him just like the real Doctor. She knew that his physical appearance helped with that tremendously, so it didn't take too long to adjust. When he wiped away the tear, she hadn't realized she'd been crying.  
"Sorry" she muttered, embarrassed.  
"What for? I understand, you know I do."  
"I know. I just wish-"  
"Don't you dare. You wouldn't have changed a thing, and you know it."  
"I miss it. I miss traveling. With you." She spoke quickly, as if afraid to admit it.  
"I do too but at least I still have you." He shot back with a look of comfort in his eyes.  
"But I can't even give you-"  
"Rose, don't. Please... don't."  
He let go of her face and rose from his knees to go get her morning tea from the kitchen.  
When he came back, she was sitting up in the bed, knees bent up to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs, and head down looking sideways at the rose on her bedside table. She hadn't realized he had walked in, so he took his opportunity to just stare at her... he loved watching her whenever she thought she was alone, because it was like he saw her soul in every little movement she made. After a few seconds, he snapped out of it and strolled over, sitting next to her on the bed and handing her her tea. Rose never stopped looking into his eyes. He hated when she did that because it always meant she really wanted to say something and he knew it wasn't going to be a particularly fun conversation.  
"You know it's me." She finally uttered after a few moments of silence.  
"No... No I don't know that, and neither do you."  
"Traveling through all of time and space and absorbing the TARDIS's energy is certainly capable of messing up a human's body."  
"Rose, listen to me. Just because we haven't... haven't had very good luck doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you."  
She had been hiding the few tears very well until now, but she couldn't help sobbing any longer.  
"Then how else do you explain it?" She screamed.  
He wrapped her up in his strong arms and let her bury her face in his chest. He couldn't stand to see her like this... Maybe *he* was the problem? After all, he wasn't fully human. No. He couldn't afford to think like that. Neither of them had a problem. They just hadn't been able to get pregnant yet. It was very common for thousands of couples. They were going to be okay.  
"I don't know." He finally answered after holding her for a little while, rocking her back and forth. "But I promise you, we WILL have children."  
"It's not fair!" She managed between sobs.  
"Rose please..."  
He was starting to tear up now, but he kissed all of her tears away before kissing her gently on the lips. He held her head against his and tried to comfort her. She took deeper, slower breaths as she calmed herself down and stopped crying.  
"This is about something else too." It wasn't a question, he knew the answer.  
She looked up at him through her bloodshot eyes, "No."  
"Rose, don't lie to me, please don't."  
She didn't move an inch; it looked as if she had stopped breathing.  
"I never really explained it to you, did I?" He continued, "About me, I mean. There was just that day on the beach and you never wanted to bring it up again... and maybe that was wrong of me to *not* force it upon you because it's clearly still affecting you even now."  
"Doctor, I-"  
"See? You just called me "Doctor!" You *want* to believe I'm really him! And I am! Why can't you understand that?!" He had gripped her arms which made her flinch backwards, away from his face, now inches from hers.  
"Doctor, you're scaring me." He looked down at his hands and realized why he had frightened her. He was ashamed of what he was even now, as a human.  
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to I just... Do you remember on the beach? When he (well, technically *I*, but I'll say "he" so you can follow along better) said that I was him before he met you? I still am, Rose. I'm still the way I was before you changed me. Granted, I still remember everything we have ever done together, but the destructive, genocidal, shameful part of me that existed before you came along, that's still there."  
"Okay... go on..." He could see the wheels beginning to turn in her head, and he wondered if they were finally making progress.  
With new confidence he went on, "You see, I'm in a human body. Obviously. But the consciousness inside of me *is* the Doctor. I am fully him (well, me) I'm just in a human shell, so to speak. Don't you see? I'm not half-Doctor half-Donna on the inside. The only thing Donna affected was the fact that I have *one* heart and *one* life that lasts for *one* normal human life. I'm him, Rose, I'm me, I'm just not, for lack of a better term, immortal. I'm sorry I was never able to explain it before, I don't think I truly understood it myself until recently."  
When he was finally finished, he just looked into her dazzling eyes, hopelessly hers.  
The entire time he'd been talking, Rose had leaned closer and closer to the Doctor-her Doctor. And when he stopped, she was very nearly sitting on his lap. She understood now. He was him, they were the same being, he just was sitting in front of her in a human body... One she desperately needed now.  
"I love you." They both said it at the same time. That was all either of them needed...

When they were lying in bed a while later, it was as if they were one body. Her legs were tangled with his, and it was as if his entire upper body was covering hers in an attempt to guard her from whatever may try to tear them apart now-but they both knew that was one thing that was truly impossible.  
"I always knew it was you, deep down, I just didn't think it was real. Like you could be taken away from me the moment I gave in to what I wanted." She finally said.  
He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her for a few moments. Did she feel a tear drop from his face? She propped herself up and looked at the man she knew she loved.  
"You have no clue what it's been like... to feel like you didn't love me anymore." He admitted.  
She caressed his face with her free hand, and wiped away the tear she had felt from a moment ago.  
"I could never do that," she assured him with a smile. But not just any smile. The Doctor could tell when it was one of pure bliss upon her face, and this was definitely one of those smiles.  
He gently kissed her blissful smile once more, embracing every ounce of this moment he possibly could.

A few weeks had passed, and Rose and her Doctor were completely inseparable and stronger than ever. Rose had just gotten out of the shower, and searched through the cabinet under the sink for some of the lotion she had just bought. In her way was a pink box... Rose stopped, picked out the box from the cabinet, and tried to remember...  
"Doctor?" She shouted to their bedroom.  
"Yes, Rose?" He replied, sounding distracted by something-probably watching one of those lame sci-fi shows again.  
"What day is today?" She tried to sound calm.  
"Um... Monday, January 26th." Then he added, "2009."  
"Yes, I know what year it is, thank you" they both chuckled.  
"Why, got a hot date or something tonight?" She could hear the sarcasm in his voice.  
"Huh? No, just curious." Was she...? No, she couldn't be... Could she? "Um, I'm just gonna run to the store really fast, okay?"  
"Alright, hurry back though," he said with a wink.  
She grabbed her bag, stole a quick kiss from her Doctor, and scurried out the door.  
When she came back she tried to hide her purchase from him and walked briskly into their bathroom. Not that he was paying any attention, a sci-fi special was apparently running all day.  
She opened the bag and read the instructions.  
"Please, please, please..." She whispered to herself...  
Two lines.  
There were two lines.  
TWO LINES!  
"DOCTOR!" Rose composed herself before walking out of the bathroom and accidentally running into him.  
"What is it? Rose? Are you okay? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He looked panicked. Then he saw that smile again... that completely blissful smile. "Rose?" He asked again.  
"Well, Doctor, I hope all those years of traveling through space and time has prepared you for this," she said with a twinkle in her eye.  
"Prepared me for what...?" he was genuinely confused until she pulled the pregnancy test out from behind her back... "You're... we... you mean...?" He was struggling for breath as well as the right words.  
"Oh yes," Rose smiled, "We're having a baby!"  
The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair and half-laughed half-cried whilst looking at his beautiful wife before him.  
"Rose! We-are you serious?! We really did it!? You're... we're pregnant... we're gonna have a baby. We're having a baby! Ha ha! Wouldja look at that?" He placed his hands on each side of her belly and pressed his lips up to where their tiny child was beginning to form. "Oh, you beauty!" He stood back up to give Rose the sweetest, happiest kiss anyone could ever receive. "What should we name her?!"  
Rose couldn't help but cry tears of joy, "And how do you know it's a girl?"  
"Oh uh... I don't know, just a hunch." He desperately wanted a girl so she could be just like Rose, "So...?"  
Without hesitation she replied with, "I was thinking about Donna."  
The Doctor had many moments when he just felt himself fall for Rose even more than he thought possible, and this was one of them.  
"Because without her," she continued, "we wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't have you. You wouldn't have me. We wouldn't be having this child in the first place. But we are, so I see it only fitting that we name her after the woman responsible for her existence."  
"Rose Tyler... I love you."  
"And I love you back."


End file.
